Wow.

It has been some time since  visited this  blog. I think prior to this one,  I mentioned how I wanted to write almost everyday….humpf…seems like I will be doing it once a month.  It’s just my procrastination coming out….

I’m blessed to have made it to another year. 2009. And just as I am thankful for each of my days and passing hours, minutes, seconds, and moments…I will treasure this as a blessing. I stayed indoors for New Years. It was great actually. I invited a close friend over and we cooked and watched movies with the kids.  It’s always a wierd moment when the world changes it’s numbers.

I had a pretty good 2008, so much to say that I was kind of sad to see it go, and that feeling lingered in me for awhile. Then when 2009 was in full swing, a series of negative things started happening to me and of course one would automatically suggest the year in whole would take a negative turn, but  I for one am an optimistic and embrace what 2009 has in store for me and my future. I’m loving it, nuturing it, and growing with it. I made no resolutions as I believe that I am already active in making things better for myself. It’s just that 2008 ran out too quick for me to accomplish everything.

So…the holidays ended up being great with family. There were no surprises or disappointments. Work was suprisingly non-stressful and I enjoyed really celebrating togetherness and being with the ones I hold dear to my heart.

FASHION! FASHION FASHION! I am so excited to start working more agressively on the Fashion Revolution and meeting the models and everyone who is part of the production. Every year I produce a fashion runway show here in Milwaukee and each year it gets bigger and bigger and inspires more people to really get out there and use their talents. This year we have approximately 27 models and 4 of them being male. We have 10 designers and approximately 3 of them are returning designers from 2008 so it will be so much fun to see how this unfolds! Our new website is up and running at http://www.thefashionrevolution.com. The change with this show is that we have upgraded to a certain degree. We carefully selected the best of the best and hope to convey that message nationally, and universally. Milwaukee has talent! Also, a new location, we will be at the Milwaukee Art Museum.

RELATIONSHIPS! ooohhh JUIC-SAY! Well, I have come to the conclusion, I just want to be single. I want to be alone and focus on my career CHANGE and also my kids. However, I don’t wish to be that way forever. But I am now in a committed relationship but also going through the necessary steps to dismantle that. I don’t want the responsibility of being someone’s woman. I have so many other things to do and frankly, the relationship I am in now, I’m not getting any benefits. And I’m tired. I do believe LOVE holds everything together, and I do love him, but the depth of our situation has become too much for me and I need to make a change to make myself happy…OR I will be that bitter woman which everyone hates….and I have no plans on hating myself. So…yeah…I want to say that I am happily single (soon)…but not looking.

MY JOB, GIG, PLANTATION….whatever you wanna call it! I finally shared with my boss about my need to go part time to pursue my enterprenuerial ventures. Ultimately in the next 1-2 years I want to open an upscale vintage clothing boutique in Milwaukee. So, to prepare for this, I am doing lots of research and trying to gain experience in retail. I have a few interviews at boutiques, so my objective is to work there and to just get a feel of what it is like to work in a retail clothing store. So, I am getting paid so much more at my current job, but I don’t mind taking a pay cut to pursue my passions and dreams. That just means I am going to have to be more frugal with my spending and maybe no vacations for me this year. —-However, I may be seen at all the wonderful summer festivals at my clothing booth selling items! I’m working on that now!

Let’s see….just yesterday I realized my home was burglarized and the thief ended up taking  jewelry and all my damn change out the penny jar. It’s so weird because I did not  notice anything until I woke up and ventured into my room from sleeping on the living room couch. I noticed all my wallets were thrown everywhere. ALL my purses were ransacked and rummaged through.  My jewelry boxes and cases were all busted up and that is when I noticed, I had been robbed. Such a vulnerable feeling. The feeling is so strong, that I still believe that I am in shock and don’t know how to handle it. I am not a person that freaks out so when I told everyone about it they looked at me like ” why are you so calm?”. I just don’t know. The items they took, I could care less about. Now if it was some of my vintage clothing…then I may have been really pissed off. But they took jewelry that I didn’t wear often and I just don’t care. As long as my family was safe that is all that matters. Now the thought of them coming back still lingers, but I am a strong believer in if things happen, they are supposed to happen. So, I just ask the Higher Being to protect me and keep me safe.

Oh yes… I am done with the book cover for my co-worker I was working on and here it is! I am so excited for him!

Ahhh yes! A day were I finally have off from work and have planned nothing more than a dentist appointment. I feel good. I got up and got the kids off to school and came back home and decided I would catch up on my blog and share some recent happenings in my life.

Yesterday I attended a wake/funeral of a late neighbor. His name was Loundry Berry. A 58 year old man who spent his lifetime in the company of education. As I would talk with him from time to time, we would discuss how school was getting to us and how stressful taking even the miminal amounts of classes can be. He had already obtained a B.A in Early Childhood Ed ( I believe) from Ottawa University and was pursuing his Masters. He also made, played, and taught African Drums and drumming. He was a man of culture I can tell you that. Mornings I would watch him walk to his car wearing the traditional African garb and looking so STRONG. I admired his confidence and pride in our culture. That was the most beautiful thing about him. But I realized something was wrong when on an early Saturday morning movers came and were hauling all type of stuff out to the garbage. Couches, refridgerators, stoves, clothing, plants, bookshelves…and then a pair of man loafers. That hit me. And yet I still didn’t know what was going on. My other neigbor knocked on my door one night as me and a friend were making dinner, and she asked had I heard. Then she went on to tell me about how he had been sick for about 3 months, and thought it was cold. Doctors finally told him it was pneumonia, drained his lungs, and discovered Cancer. Wow…..

I was saddened to hear all this. Me, losing my father to Cancer in 2006 was and is something that I have not gotten over yet. There are so many questions left unanswered, so much time that was left unattended. I think about my dad and how he was so prosperous and loved by many, and I sometimes feel like he is living through me. Wierd. But it’s like I wish he could still talk to me and tell me what I should be doing. I do miss him. But Mr. Berry was a good man from what I know. He was patient and wise…he will be missed. As I walk around the apartment building, it’s almost like I don’t want to make too much noise….it’s like I don’t want to disturb him, although he is no longer here on earth.

So, yesterday was a good day of reminicsing and saying goodbye to an old friend, and old neighbor.

Yesterday was also interesting because I finally talked with my boss about the possibility of me going part time to pursue my love of becoming an enterpreneur. YES! I have NEVER shared with anyone besides my husband about my desire to open a men/women Vintage Clothing Boutique. YES! Three years ago, I remember walking into a Wells Fargo and waiting almost an hour to speak with a personal banker about a small business loan. I remember that day…a young handsome black man greeted me, shook my hand, sat me down and asked me for my business plan. At that time, all  I knew was I wanted to name my boutique “Rarity Couture” and it would house rare couture items from around the world. Vintage and stylish peices for the man and woman. Well…with no business plan, and no real knowledge, he sent me on my way to do get some educating. Over this period of time, my life has changed and I want new things…but yet have the same vision for my boutique. So..just stay updated because I am really making the first step to get this thing going…considering internships at other vintage clothing boutiques, travelling to interview and tour really prestigious stores outside of Wisconsin, and also keeping my head in books and websites to get the history of what I plan to do and the resources. I want this goal to be accomplished in the next 1-2 years. So…I’m going to have to tug on relatives, friends, associates, and business partners to help me get to where I need to be. It can be done. February of 2009, I plan to visit New York Fashion Week to observe what ‘they’ think the new trends will be for the upcoming seasons. This too is another step for me as far as research. So it sounds fun, but much learning will be going on.

Another thing I have been working on is graphics. I have always had an appreciation and love for art, so I guess that is why I dibble dabble into so many areas. I have begun working on a book cover for a co-worker who is wrote a book about baseball and his love for two teams. His motivation behind this was the fact that someone told him that it was impossible to be a fan of two teams. He felt so compelled to share his story of how he fell in love with two teams and the real life possibility, that he went on to write a whole book! I’m proud of him and although I am not a sports fanatic, I beleive in his vision and want to help out. Below is JUST AN EXTREME SAMPLE  I sent to him:

Rough Draft Cover with image he provided

the before and after photos

So, as you can see…I’ve been playing around and having fun with it.

Well…the dishes are calling my name and also a hot shower. I shall return.

You could definitely fit me in the category of one of those ultra busy women who run around like a chicken with their head cut off. I do a lot. From planning one of Milwaukee’s premier fashion productions, to working a 9-5 job that promises no future of advancement, studying 10-15hours a week for only six college level courses, cleaning my home seven days a week, to also taking care of my two ankle biters who over the course of years gained a supernatural power to crawl up under my skin. Although, they are my angels. In addition, I assume the role of a friend to numerous people and close friends, and also a committed wife to a husband who is hundreds and hundreds of miles away, with years and years before he makes it back this way. I guess this outline goes to show, that I’m busy, I got shit to do, and I don’t have time to play or fool around with my life. I have things to protect and be responsible for, so bullshitting is mos definitely kept to the minimal over here. Shit….

But with all that being said, I am not a big fan of the dreary cold fall/winter months. The single most important thing to me about these months is the FASHION. No joke. The holidays prove to be the most lonesome for me, so I could careless about Christmas, New Years and all that is in between. My family always get so pissed at me because I tend to stay at home during the holidays, trying my darnest NOT to travel out in the cold and snow, lol. But back to the Fashion thing…I’m a sucka for it. The cold months inspire so many looks and styles…the gloves, scarfs, hats, boots, sweaters…it’s like when your dressed warm and stylish, all the pains of winter somehow… dissapear.

I wish I knew how to design sweaters right now…well sew sweaters. I just recently took my “passion for fashion” to another level and I am slowly  working on a fashion collective called VINTAGE S.E.X.Y. Now, I like to be clearly honest with people, that I am not making all the actual peices in this line singlehandedly. What I do is go to the Goodwill, or other vintage shops, find some things I like that may have good fabric or something, and I take that peice and RECONTRUCT it into something funky, fashionable, and sexy. So I may take an old grandma sweater, chop it up, and re-do it in a retro, sexy emsemble. I figure this will start me off easy and get me in the swing of using my sewing machine and helping me to have a clear idea of the style of my clothing. I’m a vintage lover and I love to recycle, so this is a great match for me. I LOVE IT, and I find myself wanting to only design for myself. I’m the perfect size and everything that I have made so far fits me to a “T”. lol. So, this is clearly something that I do on the side…and who knows how it will evolve.

VINTAGE S.E.X.Y Femi-Bund (convertible)

FEMI worn as a neck scarf

So pictured above is one of my first creations. The name is a “FEMI-BUND”, it’s like a women’s version of a man cumberbund, but we can wear it with more versatility. It converts into a neck scarf. And because these peices are made from vintage clothing, the FEMI-BUNDS come in only limited styles and colors. The FEMI can also be worn as a neck scarf.

So, this is just a snippet. I’ve designed about three other looks that include a swimsuit, a tube dress, and a sexy one peice. This is me…this is just some of my talents. Things like this keep my mind off of other troublesome things in my life and it helps me cope.

Arrrghhhh….life and the beauty of it. I sometimes have to admit to myself that being indecisive and confused is comical. I play with the thought of viewing me outside of my body and observe a crazed woman, scratching her head with a huge question mark above it.

I guess that is okay…right? Or do I need to fix that. I titled this growing pains because for the last week I have been entertaining the thoughts of things similiar to a “life crisis”. I am questioning everthing in my life from my employment, my family, my goals, my relationships, my body, my EVERYTHING.  I can’t seem to understand why I am stuck and can’t find an answer that will make me feel comfortable enough to move on.  It’s not that I am dissatisfied with everything, but there are some things. And since each thing is interdependent on one another, it’s natural to consider all the elements of my life.  I guess it’s time to turn to some self-improvement books and meditation.

intergalatic

Welcome to my….blog?….(clears throat)

More like…welcome to my public announcements of the random and coloful thoughts that swing dance through my head all day. And that is okay…I will take this new blog writing as an almost daily routine to exercise my mind.

Being Colorful Is A Full Time Job